You Will Learn

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Anxiety, Depression, Patience, Mindful, Mindfulness, Shampine, Don Shampine, Donald ShampineLiving with someone with anxiety and depression teaches you many things. It doesn't matter if it is a parent, a child, a sibling, a friend, or a significant other, you will learn, whether you like it or not, you will learn. If you fight the lessons that this teaches you, they will batter at your mind and body and leave you bloodied and defeated. So be open to the lessons you are given as they will serve you well in this and all other aspects of life.


Patience 

You will learn patience. It tears at your every fiber as you can't seem to make heads or tails of what's going on and why as it all defies logic. You won't understand it because it defies logic but also defies emotion. You will want to make sense if it, find the cause, then implement a cure. Yet, that is not your role, it's not your reality, and it's not likely to happen. So you endure the ebb and flow, loving someone with depression and anxiety will test your patience as you will seek answers, from them, from others, from yourself. You will seek answers that sometimes don't exist. Patience. You learn that.


Flexibility

Plans change. It's an inevitable part of life, something we all should be prepared for. Yet, when loving someone with anxiety or depression your plans can change in a moment’s notice. A simple dinner out, where the conversation and food are good, can quickly turn to a tear stifling meal where you are just trying to get out without causing a scene. You see, anxiety and depression episodes don't strike with warning, they often not even a reaction to they defy logic, and are stealthy in their approach. Often you never see it coming. Plans change. A good day may turn into a rough night, where melancholy rules the evening, or uncontrollable and inconsolable sobbing keeps you quietly holding your loved one, all the while you want to scream out in your own pain, or a seemingly quiet night can turn into yet another trip to the ER. Plans change. You learn that. 

Resiliency

You learn to be resilient, to bounce back, and quickly. If you don't, if and when their episodes of depression and anxiety recede, you are left with a choice, to allow the raw emotion of the impact of their episode to overwhelm you as they start to come back, or embrace the moment as it improves and be mindful and positive, as sometimes good moments are few and far between. 

Resiliency is a rare trait, and it amazingly enough can be taught through tough life lessons. Setting aside your own feelings is not easy but is necessary. You have to bounce back. You learn that.

Love

It's a hard love, a love that defies reason. We are taught through life experiences that love is often conditional, given to others based on them meeting certain expectations. Yet, that's an easy love to give, it holds little meaning, and is as fleeting as a summer breeze. No, you don't get that easy love, the false love, you get a hard love. Love in its truest form, the rawest version of love. A love that scalds you with its heat as the person you hold dear challenges you with their erratic behaviors, their cutting words, their thunderous emotions, or their silent pain. Yet, they need your love. Not conditional, as they would break all conditions and send you wounded and confused. No they need the hard love, the unconditional love, the forgiving love. You learn that.


There are many lessons you will learn, many tough experiences that will threaten your resolve and bring you to your knees in either prayer or consternation. You will bear the scars from the experience. Each will have carved their lesson into your soul. You will learn. And these lessons are hard, heavy, yet necessary. Because learning these lessons will help your loved one through their difficult struggles, and will help you survive to enjoy the moments in between the struggles, which are beautiful. In fact they are actually more beautiful because of the struggle. This too you will learn.

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 25, 2019 at 12:55 PM

    This is beautifully said. I myself struggle with depression and anxiety. Most of my "loved ones" abandoned me during my mental health issues. So it is important that people realize it is not easy to stand by or understand but it should be worth it.

    Callie ;)

    ReplyDelete

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